[01dragonslayer]

A man is shopping for a dog for his family…
He visits a dog farm just outside of town, and meets with the farmer. The farmer is very helpful, and shows the man his dog cages, where he breeds all different types of dogs.

“Here’s the Dalmatians, they’re $200 each. Here’s the Bassett Hounds, they’re $100 each,” says the farmer. As the farmer is speaking, the man notices an old dog sitting by himself in a cage.

“Why is that dog all by himself?”, he asks the farmer.

“Oh, him? That’s my talking dog. Just ignore him,” replies the farmer.

“I don’t believe this. A talking dog? Can I go talk to him?” asks the man.

After getting permission from the farmer, the man approaches the dog.

“Do you really talk?”

The dog looks up slowly to the man and replies, “of course I talk. I’m 175 years old.”

The man is astonished. “Wow! 175 years old? Really?”

“Yep,” says the dog, “175 years old. I’m a veteran dog. I marched with General Sherman during the Civil War. I fought at Somme in World War I, and I helped liberate France in World War II. I was wounded three different times, and I’ve got 95 children with 40 different women. I hate it here, but I’m an old dog so nobody wants to adopt me.”

“Unbelievable,” says the man, “thank you for your service. I will give you a good home and a family full of love.”

Turning to the farmer, the man asks “how much for the talking dog?”

“He’s yours for $5,” replies the farmer.

“Just $5?”, asks the man.

“Yes, $5.”

“How could a talking dog be so cheap?”, the man asks, pulling a $5 bill out of his wallet.

“Well,” sighs the farmer, “he talks alright, but you can’t believe a goddamn word that comes out of that dog’s mouth.”