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12-06-2022, 01:20 PM
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Just finished buying the family Christmas tree and as the clerk was tying it down he asked me, "So you plan on putting this up yourself then?"
"No you sicko- I was thinking in front of the window in the den." 
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12-06-2022, 01:21 PM
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Traditionally, we always have a family Christmas jumper...
...It's always my job to talk him down :/
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12-06-2022, 01:21 PM
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Years later, Kevin McCallister murdered his older brother at a family Christmas party.
It was a total buzzkill.
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12-06-2022, 01:22 PM
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Christmas Cheer
Just texted my Girlfriend to see if she was coming over tonight after her family Christmas celebration. She texted, "Let me guess, Netflix and chill." I responded, "No baby, I upgraded to Disney Plus and Thrust"
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12-06-2022, 01:25 PM
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How do you get a nuclear family?
Splitting an atom family.
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12-06-2022, 01:25 PM
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If a family with a mother, father, and child is called a nuclear family...
...why isn't incest called radioactive dating?
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12-06-2022, 01:27 PM
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The theory goes, that surnames often come from the job of your ancestors.
What on earth did "Dickinson" do?!
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12-06-2022, 01:28 PM
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My English friend was shocked to find out that his ancestors came from Transylvania.
Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.
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12-06-2022, 01:28 PM
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I asked the genie to revive one of my oldest ancestors, to see what life was like when they were around.
Let's just say, it was a pretty fishy chat.
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12-06-2022, 01:29 PM
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Two people are discussing their ancestors who lived during world war 2
Girl: my grandparents were in a concentration camp Boy: so was my grandpa, he died there Girl: aw that’s so sad Boy: yeah, poor guy fell out of the guard tower
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Linear Mode
