right ow I spend about $200cad a week, I was at $350 but I had to cut back as im a single father

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People say to me its possible to be too big.....but for me I dont want a physique thats average something thats reachable, I want something thats unobtainable that looks like its so hard to get, yes women hate it, BUT I FUCKIN LOVE IT....SO FUCK IT!! why do I want this??? CAUSE NORMAL FUCKIN SUCKS!!!